Borderline Personality Disorder
- Tammy Weiner
- Jul 17, 2021
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 18, 2021
Borderline Personality Disorder
Is a disorder characterized by instability and impulsivity. Instability with moods, behaviors and sense of self.
People with BPD have a strong fear of abandonment. They live in a state of chronic fear or perceived fear of abandonment. This can cause incredible anxiety and panic. People with this disorder have intense mood swings within a day. Not to be confused with a mood disorder like Bipolar. BPD is very quick and very intense.
BPD individuals do not have a sense of self. They often describe themselves as “I dont know who I really am or what I even like.”
9 traits are:
Fear of abandonment- real or perceived. Not only in romantic relationships but family/ friends. You could be late arriving home from work and when you walk through the door, even though they are relieved you came home, they react with anger because you didn't call or text. They feared you were gone or not interested in being with them and this will cause them to react immediately- going from zero to one hundred.
Unstable- relationships are intense. They start out strong and passionately and can quickly turn into intense anger and rage.
Lack of Identity- chronic internal struggle to find themselves.
Impulsivity- acting out, behaving in a way without thinking. Problematic behavior: binge eating, binge spending, impulsive sexual behavior.
Dangerous behavior of self harm (cutting), talking about suicide, they have inner feelings of pain. They want to be alive but don't want this inner struggle and pain.
Mood Instability- their mood shifts frequently. Fluctuating very quickly with strong feelings. They act in line with their emotions. They don’t stop to inhibit it. It’s like a tidal wave of emotions that just hit them and they immediately react. Because of this up and downin mood, their relationships are up and down.
Chronically feeling empty- an empty shell and a deep desire to fill it. Usually through drinking, eating, spending.
Inappropriate Intense Anger/ rage- even the smallest slight will spiral into an over-reaction of yelling, screaming, name calling, throwing things and can escalate to violence. They are known to have “thin skin” in that they are hypersensitive and react with intense emotions. People around them feel like they are walking on eggshells. However, after their explosive anger they feel deep remorse, sadness, guilt, shame and embarrassment. Which leads them to believe the person they had this encounter with will leave them which triggers the feelings of abandonment and increases self harm behavior. Its a constant cycle.
Rarely seen and only under extreme stress is the disassociated state. Where they temporarily break from reality almost. Appears psychotic and can have child like behaviors.
What you can do
If you or anyone you know exhibits some of these traits, encourage therapy. There are models and techniques to help manage this disorder. The challenging piece - its not an easy fix. There are no medications or pill that will cure this. It takes time and work but through therapy the behaviors and thoughts can be better managed.
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